Peer Review #3

This week I chose to critique Alina’s letter to Mr. Gradgrind.

“Hi Alina, hope you don’t mind but I thought I’d use your entry to do my review on. I was looking to read someone’s letter to Mr. Gradgind and yours was the first I found.
I think you articulated your feelings towards Mr. Gradginds raising of Louise, my favorite line was “Put simply, she has been robbed of her childhood and as a consequence, she has become silent and detached.” as this feels like a direct verbal smack to Mr. Gradginds well deserved face. However, I think you could have gotten away with being a lot more punchey when it came to telling him off, but at the same time, I can understand why you chose to remain calm within your writing.

I look forward to seeing more of your posts in the future, have a great week!


One thought on “Peer Review #3

  1. *Please attend to editing your work carefully. Here is what I have picked up:
    *Mr. Gradginds raising of Louise= Mr. Gradgind’s raising of LouisA [‘s needed for ownership and character’s name misspelt; see ‘s or s’ – Apostrophe- if there is a meaning of ownership ( the boy’s apple/ the boys’ apples) then you need an apostrophe. See But don’t use apostrophe s for normal plurals!!!]
    * , my favorite line was = new sentence needed here.: . My favorite line was …
    * Mr. Gradginds well deserved face= Mr. Gradgind’s well deserved face [ditto ‘s]
    * think you could have gotten away with = think you could have got away with


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s